Brad’s Story

I have suffered the dreaded D word, depression, since 1994, but wasn’t diagnosed until about 1996.

Back then I had no idea what I was going through. In those dreadful days, before I got help, I would kiss my wife goodbye and head off to work, not knowing if I would return. I would drive two hours to an auction and cry for those two hours. I’d be a gibbering mess, but then I’d get up an auctioneer and do my bit, happy as Larry, and then hop in the car and the same thing would happen on my way home. I knew something wasn’t right. The first time I attempted or thought about suicide was in about 1998.

My help-seeking began when I started noticing that I wasn’t in the best physical or mental state, I was 174 kilos, and had high blood pressure, so I visited my local doctor. After I nearly broke down answering some of his questions after a few visits, he diagnosed my feelings as Depression and started me on medication. It hit me that what I was feeling had been doing a pretty damn good job eating me away mentally and putting dark thoughts in my head.

This is when I rang that vital number. I had always heard of 13 11 14, Lifeline’s crisis number, but I had done nothing about it. After I made the call to Lifeline, my life changed from there. There was something around the corner and that little bit of light was there.

I am now a better person and am living life to the max. I have my physical health as well as the once dreaded D word under control. I always remind myself about it, I had depression but with the help of friends, family, a good doctor and the good Lord, I got through it. The main reason I share my story is to help others out there who may be feeling like I was, I want to say: “Hang in there and be strong.”

Maya first called 13 11 14 in 2013 when she found the painful circumstances in her life were increasing her distress and overwhelming her capacity to cope.

Like many people who seek help from Lifeline, she never wanted to end her life but her emotional pain was so great that she couldn’t see a way forward alone. She made the brave decision to pick up the phone and ask for help.

I thought before I go and make any decisions, I wanted to speak to someone who’s removed from the situation. I wanted to speak to someone who doesn’t know me or my family and I was kind of deep down hoping that they would agree with me, that I shouldn’t be here.

I called Lifeline instead, and

When I called Lifeline, they calmed me down to start off with because I wasn’t getting any words out, nothing coherent. I didn’t know how I was going to talk to the person on the phone and I felt like I was wasting their time because all I could do was cry and I couldn’t even get any words out.

I spoke to someone who just sat and listened to me cry, which was almost relieving because I didn’t have to say anything. I could just sit there, pour my heart out and I had this person on the phone saying “it’s OK”, reassuring me and letting me know what I needed to do.

They listened to me, they heard what I had to say and it was like a weight off my shoulders. Finally, I could stop the tears, I could stop the hysterics, I could talk and get help. It was like after a thunderstorm passes and everything clears up.

The crisis supporter got me questioning and challenging why I thought the way I did. It helped to have somebody who was of a rational mind, who was an outside party who could make me think about what I was about to do, rationally outside of the emotion. I made the decision to do what was right, not what was easy.

It’s really scary to talk to somebody who you don’t know about what’s going on in your head, but it is a lot scarier to battle the demons on your own and to nearly have them win. So I would rather take the first option.

I’m eternally grateful to them, I don’t know what their name is – I just remember she was a female. I have no recollection of anything else except for the fact that she told me I was worth it. She told me that life would not be better for my kids if I wasn’t there. That’s my story.

Rosanna Leo is the Western Australian finalist for Lifeline’s Mary Parsissons Outstanding Volunteer Award.

The award recognises the outstanding effort of volunteers across the country who have contributed to the community, have been an inspiration within their centre and shown leadership.

Rosanna has been a dedicated Telephone Crisis supporter with Lifeline WA since 2012 and was nominated for excellence in the volunteer field, leadership and for making an inspirational contribution to the community.

Having previously worked in education and small business, Rosanna currently works with people living with a disability, bringing what she’s learnt throughout her life to her role at Lifeline WA. Rosanna’s drive to continually learn and improve her knowledge in both her personal and professional life, is evident with every person she helps, on and off the phones.

Rosanna is inspired by the tenacity of people in crisis, as well as the kindness, compassion, and professionalism of her colleagues.

“We have a very inspirational volunteering environment of mutual respect and growth, individually and collectively.”

“Nothing yet beats being part of a team dedicated to offering a safe space for people in crisis to turn to and be deeply heard and responded to, no matter who they are, when they call or whatever their circumstance.”

We are proud to have Rosanna as part of the Lifeline WA team.