Brad’s Story

I have suffered the dreaded D word, depression, since 1994, but wasn’t diagnosed until about 1996.

Back then I had no idea what I was going through. In those dreadful days, before I got help, I would kiss my wife goodbye and head off to work, not knowing if I would return. I would drive two hours to an auction and cry for those two hours. I’d be a gibbering mess, but then I’d get up an auctioneer and do my bit, happy as Larry, and then hop in the car and the same thing would happen on my way home. I knew something wasn’t right. The first time I attempted or thought about suicide was in about 1998.

My help-seeking began when I started noticing that I wasn’t in the best physical or mental state, I was 174 kilos, and had high blood pressure, so I visited my local doctor. After I nearly broke down answering some of his questions after a few visits, he diagnosed my feelings as Depression and started me on medication. It hit me that what I was feeling had been doing a pretty damn good job eating me away mentally and putting dark thoughts in my head.

This is when I rang that vital number. I had always heard of 13 11 14, Lifeline’s crisis number, but I had done nothing about it. After I made the call to Lifeline, my life changed from there. There was something around the corner and that little bit of light was there.

I am now a better person and am living life to the max. I have my physical health as well as the once dreaded D word under control. I always remind myself about it, I had depression but with the help of friends, family, a good doctor and the good Lord, I got through it. The main reason I share my story is to help others out there who may be feeling like I was, I want to say: “Hang in there and be strong.”

Lifeline WA ambassador and motivational speaker Alison Braun struggled with her weight for much of her life.

But in 2008, she set out to change that as a contestant on reality show The Biggest Loser.

Alison lost 55kg and finished second overall, but it was the lessons she learned in the process that made the biggest impact on her life.

“Being placed in a position and pushed out of my comfort zone on a daily basis, I discovered strengths within myself I never knew existed,” she says.

“I discovered I was mentally stronger than I ever realised, disciplined and extremely competitive.”

It should have been the start of a wonderful new chapter for her young family, however, six months later while preparing to film an advertisement in the eastern states, she received the news that her husband Bob had taken his own life.

She still remembers the call that changed her world.

“It was my Mum, I could hear such distress in her voice,” she recalls.

“As I stood in my hotel room on the other side of the country all I could hear were the screams of my son and the cries of my two little girls. I couldn’t be there to hold them, to comfort them and tell them it’s going to be OK.”

It took all of Alison’s new strength to endure this loss and be there for her children as a single parent.

“I had really no idea what to do at that point, how I was going to do everything,” she says.

“I made a conscious decision that I wanted to be a role model to my kids and the community.”

In 2008, suicide was a taboo subject and there was a stigma associated with mental health and suicide. Alison was determined to make sure her children would never feel their dad’s illness was a shameful act.

Alison was given a platform within the media and through public speaking and set out to use this opportunity to break down stereotypes, shame and the taboo around mental health and suicide.

Today, Alison continues to inspire her family and many others as an advocate for mental health and a positive voice in the community.

In supporting Lifeline WA, Alison hopes to prevent other families receiving the sort of call she did, by encouraging people who struggling to call Lifeline for help in times of crisis.

Alison believes if her husband had just reached out for help that day, her children would still have their father with them today.

I am a 49 year old man, serving 21 years in the Defence Force. But it all started back when I was a teenager and followed me through my life.

At the age of 13, I started drinking to run away from my pain. I found out the hard way that drinking and suicide ideation don’t mix and ended up in rehab at age 22. I have been sober ever since.

In about 2010, my thoughts started turning back towards ending my life. I found myself going through a life changing and traumatising accident. This left me thinking about ending my life, once again. I knew a part of myself didn’t come back with me and knew I was going to be a danger to myself, so I asked for help.

My life had changed forever. I lost count of how many times I tried to take my life and I wasn’t able to work again. We moved to Perth (where my family live) so I could have support. I called someone every morning to say I was alive. Sometimes they would call me if I hadn’t made the call, even though sometimes it was as simple as me not being able to find my phone.

Suicide ideation wasn’t all I was dealing with. I had severe anxiety, I couldn’t speak more than three words without stuttering and I had the shakes so bad I had to think really hard to make it stop. I have depression and PTSD, memory loss, and even a little brain damage. I felt like I was a prisoner in my own world – I didn’t see a way out of my situation, so my thoughts kept coming back to taking my own life.

Through time, and with a lot of hard work, I was able to slowly re-enter the world. I started to think: ‘I am walking forward’. I even felt the need to help other Veterans. If I can walk forward, so can they. Sometimes I felt my efforts fell on deaf ears, so I would lose hope again. Time and time again, I had to find new paths to follow.

I found myself working in my garden and listening to music, and I started to write poetry. These things were so helpful, and writing poetry was new for me. I didn’t know I could do it. But I did know, it was time to turn things around again.

With the right support, my life was taking a new turn – from always thinking about taking my life, to being well enough to talk to others about where I had come from to where I am now. I was slowly growing and my mindset was changing. I was thinking ‘I CAN do this,’ and it had been a long time since I thought that.

From a scared and broken child in a man’s body to a man with hope, I was slowly able to reconnect to society. I was pushing my personnel boundaries into new territories.

Yes I have PTSD, and yes I have other mental ailments, yet I am not waiting at home for them to run my life. Now, I have learnt the self-care skills it takes to keep me well.

“Remember, from darkness comes beauty.”