Chris’ Story

Retired cricketer Brad Hogg has achieved a sporting success level that would envious many Australians.

Raised on a sheep farm in the Great Southern region, Brad rose from the Tarwonga Cricket Club to represent Australia as a wrist spin bowler and batsman.

He excelled at all formats of the game, ranking second among spin bowlers in wickets taken in One Day International cricket and achieving cult hero status as part of the fledgling Big Bash League in the 2010s.

However, retirement from cricket presented a difficult challenge for Brad. The loss of identity as a professional athlete, combined with issues in his personal life, resulted in Brad’s mental health declining. Brad says he compounded the problem by hiding it behind a forced smile and trademark self-deprecation.

“While I went through my stuff, I didn’t really talk to anyone about it. I just kept it inside myself and didn’t really express it,” he says. “I just didn’t see the answers, and all I could see was doom and gloom.”

Brad didn’t access resources like Lifeline WA when he needed help, and now he’s motivated to spread the word about Lifeline WA so others don’t make the same mistake.

“When you go down into a little bit of a spiral and things aren’t going right, if you don’t address them straight away then the hole just gets bigger,” he says.

Speaking publicly about his experience of depression for the first time was difficult, but Brad sees it as necessary.

“The first time I spoke, I was really nervous, but when I realised I could help at least one or 10 or 100 people, I felt better about it,” he says. “I hope that normalising life’s struggles and encouraging people to be open makes an impact.”

His message for people who are struggling is simple. “For me, it’s about talking it out and getting open with it when you start to see things aren’t going right. There are resources out there like Lifeline WA to help you.”

Looking back, I’ve realised that even as a child I felt really different, unworthy and that I didn’t deserve things.

I was convinced that I was unlovable and I constantly tried to get approval from my family and others, and I just felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. It was really hard because not having the words to articulate things as a child is probably the most difficult thing.

My first experience with depression was at 8 years old, which I can remember. At 18 I was formally diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety disorder and mild OCD. Only my immediate family knew and if anyone asked I denied it, I just hid it from everyone. So essentially it was like hiding a part of myself all these years.

Over the years I managed my symptoms by keeping busy, taking medication and avoiding any conversations about my mental health. I tried many different types of treatment, several different psychologists and medications.

I attempted to take my life in 2013. I think it was the result of many years in denial about what was actually happening internally and ignoring the emotional pain that I was in. It was a last ditch effort because I felt like didn’t have any other options and I really thought suicide was my only way out.

Fortunately, I survived the attempt and ended up in an inpatient facility for 3 months. It was the most gut wrenching, heartbreaking, peaceful and amazing experience. It was during these moments that I realised not being true to myself was killing me and is a massive trigger for my depression and anxiety.

It was profound and it was hard because it was the parts of myself that I didn’t want to go near. I didn’t want to get in touch with those raw emotions because it was going to be painful but I realise that I had to just feel it, sit with what was with going on. It was the first time that I allowed myself to be truly me and accept what was going on. I learned that acceptance doesn’t mean giving up, and it doesn’t mean that I am defined by my illness. With the aid of the right treatment and support network, I began to recover.

I think Lifeline can offer that support when we’re not ready to speak to our family or friends. They will be there for you without needing to know who you are and there’s no judgement there. You don’t have to suffer alone.

Stefani Caminiti is an avid mental health advocate and speaker with a mission to help support people in achieving mental wellness, through her Inner Ninja Foundation. By sharing her lived experience of severe depression and anxiety she encourages others to seek help to learn to manage their illness.

I have suffered the dreaded D word, depression, since 1994, but wasn’t diagnosed until about 1996.

Back then I had no idea what I was going through. In those dreadful days, before I got help, I would kiss my wife goodbye and head off to work, not knowing if I would return. I would drive two hours to an auction and cry for those two hours. I’d be a gibbering mess, but then I’d get up an auctioneer and do my bit, happy as Larry, and then hop in the car and the same thing would happen on my way home. I knew something wasn’t right. The first time I attempted or thought about suicide was in about 1998.

My help-seeking began when I started noticing that I wasn’t in the best physical or mental state, I was 174 kilos, and had high blood pressure, so I visited my local doctor. After I nearly broke down answering some of his questions after a few visits, he diagnosed my feelings as Depression and started me on medication. It hit me that what I was feeling had been doing a pretty damn good job eating me away mentally and putting dark thoughts in my head.

This is when I rang that vital number. I had always heard of 13 11 14, Lifeline’s crisis number, but I had done nothing about it. After I made the call to Lifeline, my life changed from there. There was something around the corner and that little bit of light was there.

I am now a better person and am living life to the max. I have my physical health as well as the once dreaded D word under control. I always remind myself about it, I had depression but with the help of friends, family, a good doctor and the good Lord, I got through it. The main reason I share my story is to help others out there who may be feeling like I was, I want to say: “Hang in there and be strong.”