Maya first called 13 11 14 in 2013 when she found the painful circumstances in her life were increasing her distress and overwhelming her capacity to cope.
Like many people who seek help from Lifeline, she never wanted to end her life but her emotional pain was so great that she couldn’t see a way forward alone. She made the brave decision to pick up the phone and ask for help.
I thought before I go and make any decisions, I wanted to speak to someone who’s removed from the situation. I wanted to speak to someone who doesn’t know me or my family and I was kind of deep down hoping that they would agree with me, that I shouldn’t be here.
I called Lifeline instead, and
When I called Lifeline, they calmed me down to start off with because I wasn’t getting any words out, nothing coherent. I didn’t know how I was going to talk to the person on the phone and I felt like I was wasting their time because all I could do was cry and I couldn’t even get any words out.
I spoke to someone who just sat and listened to me cry, which was almost relieving because I didn’t have to say anything. I could just sit there, pour my heart out and I had this person on the phone saying “it’s OK”, reassuring me and letting me know what I needed to do.
They listened to me, they heard what I had to say and it was like a weight off my shoulders. Finally, I could stop the tears, I could stop the hysterics, I could talk and get help. It was like after a thunderstorm passes and everything clears up.
The crisis supporter got me questioning and challenging why I thought the way I did. It helped to have somebody who was of a rational mind, who was an outside party who could make me think about what I was about to do, rationally outside of the emotion. I made the decision to do what was right, not what was easy.
It’s really scary to talk to somebody who you don’t know about what’s going on in your head, but it is a lot scarier to battle the demons on your own and to nearly have them win. So I would rather take the first option.
I’m eternally grateful to them, I don’t know what their name is – I just remember she was a female. I have no recollection of anything else except for the fact that she told me I was worth it. She told me that life would not be better for my kids if I wasn’t there. That’s my story.
Other real stories
Georgia’s Story
Georgia Ongarezos is the youngest person to complete a solo crossing from Rottnest Island in the dark of night, achieving the feat in late 2020 and raising more than $13,000 for Lifeline WA in the process.
The accomplished swimmer was motivated to support Lifeline WA by her own struggle with depression, which had seen her stop training entirely.
Recognising how many of her peers were fighting the same darkness, she conceived the idea of the night swim to help shine a light on the importance of mental health.
“I counted 22 people I know that have a mental illness or are suffering as a consequence of loved ones with mental illnesses and this broke my heart,” Georgia says.
“I decided to swim in the darkness from Rottnest to Perth to inspire those who are struggling at the moment and feel like they are in darkness.”
For Georgia, Lifeline WA’s importance is in the lifeboat it represents for people lost in the currents of mental health issues.
“It gives me such peace of mind to know that if any of the people I love are struggling and reach out to Lifeline for help, their lives are more likely to be saved,” she says.
Even up to the night of the swim, Georgia was in a depressive state behind the smile she presented to the world.
“I didn’t realise that the tunnel I was in was still extremely dark and to be honest I hadn’t found the light yet,” she recalls.
But coming ashore at Cottesloe Beach as dawn broke was a turning point for her mental health, and she has a message for others who are struggling.
“There is light at the end of the tunnel, and you can get there if you believe in yourself,” she says.
Since completing the swim, Georgia has continued to fundraise and advocate for Lifeline WA in the community.
Stef’s Story
Looking back, I’ve realised that even as a child I felt really different, unworthy and that I didn’t deserve things.
I was convinced that I was unlovable and I constantly tried to get approval from my family and others, and I just felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. It was really hard because not having the words to articulate things as a child is probably the most difficult thing.
My first experience with depression was at 8 years old, which I can remember. At 18 I was formally diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety disorder and mild OCD. Only my immediate family knew and if anyone asked I denied it, I just hid it from everyone. So essentially it was like hiding a part of myself all these years.
Over the years I managed my symptoms by keeping busy, taking medication and avoiding any conversations about my mental health. I tried many different types of treatment, several different psychologists and medications.
I attempted to take my life in 2013. I think it was the result of many years in denial about what was actually happening internally and ignoring the emotional pain that I was in. It was a last ditch effort because I felt like didn’t have any other options and I really thought suicide was my only way out.
Fortunately, I survived the attempt and ended up in an inpatient facility for 3 months. It was the most gut wrenching, heartbreaking, peaceful and amazing experience. It was during these moments that I realised not being true to myself was killing me and is a massive trigger for my depression and anxiety.
It was profound and it was hard because it was the parts of myself that I didn’t want to go near. I didn’t want to get in touch with those raw emotions because it was going to be painful but I realise that I had to just feel it, sit with what was with going on. It was the first time that I allowed myself to be truly me and accept what was going on. I learned that acceptance doesn’t mean giving up, and it doesn’t mean that I am defined by my illness. With the aid of the right treatment and support network, I began to recover.
I think Lifeline can offer that support when we’re not ready to speak to our family or friends. They will be there for you without needing to know who you are and there’s no judgement there. You don’t have to suffer alone.
Stefani Caminiti is an avid mental health advocate and speaker with a mission to help support people in achieving mental wellness, through her Inner Ninja Foundation. By sharing her lived experience of severe depression and anxiety she encourages others to seek help to learn to manage their illness.
Brad’s Story
Retired cricketer Brad Hogg has achieved a sporting success level that would envious many Australians.
Raised on a sheep farm in the Great Southern region, Brad rose from the Tarwonga Cricket Club to represent Australia as a wrist spin bowler and batsman.
He excelled at all formats of the game, ranking second among spin bowlers in wickets taken in One Day International cricket and achieving cult hero status as part of the fledgling Big Bash League in the 2010s.
However, retirement from cricket presented a difficult challenge for Brad. The loss of identity as a professional athlete, combined with issues in his personal life, resulted in Brad’s mental health declining. Brad says he compounded the problem by hiding it behind a forced smile and trademark self-deprecation.
“While I went through my stuff, I didn’t really talk to anyone about it. I just kept it inside myself and didn’t really express it,” he says. “I just didn’t see the answers, and all I could see was doom and gloom.”
Brad didn’t access resources like Lifeline WA when he needed help, and now he’s motivated to spread the word about Lifeline WA so others don’t make the same mistake.
“When you go down into a little bit of a spiral and things aren’t going right, if you don’t address them straight away then the hole just gets bigger,” he says.
Speaking publicly about his experience of depression for the first time was difficult, but Brad sees it as necessary.
“The first time I spoke, I was really nervous, but when I realised I could help at least one or 10 or 100 people, I felt better about it,” he says. “I hope that normalising life’s struggles and encouraging people to be open makes an impact.”
His message for people who are struggling is simple. “For me, it’s about talking it out and getting open with it when you start to see things aren’t going right. There are resources out there like Lifeline WA to help you.”
How you can help
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